Trainers Solving professional conflicts with colleagues should be easy for a trainer. I am lucky enough to be able to do what I really like: Help teams and managers to collaborate better, develop skills and gain insights into where interaction sometimes fails, to support each other in their learning to understand.
But what happens when a trainer ends up in their own professional conflict?
Certainly a difficult situation, but how do you resolve it? Watch what they do, what affects you, how you can look at their behavior differently and how, by adjusting your own behavior, you have a greater chance of positively influencing others.
Practical cases involving interaction with difficult colleagues are regularly included in training programs, with a trainer working with you, giving you tools and feedback, maybe the trainer even "jumps in" to show a different way of interaction.
In any case, the trainer uses tried and tested methods and their experience, to apply different interaction styles that are effectively applied in that practice situation.
And sometimes, because of different behavioral and interaction styles, 'jumping in' is so easy for a trainer, that it becomes easy for the trainer to let themselves to be tempted into thinking: 'Look, that's how it works, I've got a good grip on this!". You start to think that interaction between people is a little more measurable, and that the practice can almost be enforced.
And then ... the situation is suddenly turned on its head, when the trainer ends up stuck in their own conflict situation, unable to build correct relationships (with peers), becoming more stressed in a downward spiral of negativity. How did that happen?
It happens more often than you think, including to yours truly. When reality kicks in, and you find yourself in a situation where you are fully and truly affected by external circumstances, where you feel intimidated, scared, angry, sad and disappointed, then it remains incredibly difficult to stay out of the destructive and ineffective patterns of interaction.
It remains a difficult task, in which you realised that you are also simply a human being, with your own sensitivities, peculiarities, habitual and non-habitual qualities.
When the dust finally settled in my conflict situation, I realised all the more how good it is to keep practicing these types of cases in a safe setting, to expand your arsenal of possibilities for interaction.
It can also happen that you are just "checkmated"; that you are blocked, frozen out, that you are temporarily unable to step out of the pattern, that it is just too intense for now. Then it is important to stay calm and stay true to yourself, to take some distance and keep breathing. Knowing that it will not stay like this for a long time, it will be okay in the long run; that you will succeed.
This trainer, who is also just human, wanted to share that with you :)
If you are also looking for some inspiration, check out what we can do.